i was a tad obtuse, there. sorry.
i do know the answer to all of the questions in the previous post.
they are, respectively, 'both, everything, everything, both, all three, yes and no (and thank you mum!), yes and no, yes and no, yes and no, everything, everything, yes and no, both, yes and no.'
there, i think we can safely say that we have now fully covered this sensitive topic.
(or... maybe, maybe, maybe, these questions were never meant to be answered, but lived.
and maybe, maybe, maybe, that living might well take a life-time.
and maybe, maybe, maybe, that is just as it should be...)
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